a story of failed flirting

This encounter, over the last two weeks, has been like a little mini flirting roller coaster. Actually, it's been more like a tilt-a-whirl -- looks fun on the outside, nauseating while you're on it, then after you're through you just wish you hadn't wasted your time. So, please allow me to tell you this story of a random man I met at a bar and just exactly how he managed to bore me to death.

I'll begin by prefacing that we all should know how a conversation works. I ask you a question, you respond, ask me a question, I respond, etc. Normally, when two people are suffering from bouts of extreme and desperate boredom, they may engage in an act such as this. But not this guy. The first sense of "what the fuck?" came when, after a few random texts back and forth, I asked him what else he wanted to talk about, since he kept complaining that he was "bored." His response, "Ummmmm," was less than impressive.

The second moment, the "did that really happen?" moment, occurred just a few days ago, when he asked me multiple times in the span of an hour what I was doing, what my plans were for the night. Each time I responded patiently ... hoping maybe that my message, in its journey to his phone through digital communication, had gotten lost, jumbled, or translated into a foreign language. I had just met this guy, so I was willing to overlook the few signs of futility that presented themselves early. When I invited him to join me and some friends at a bar, he arrived, said nothing to me, and then disappeared. I figured that would be the end of our little texting exchanges -- and that was okay, at least I'd be free from feeling obligated to respond.

But oh, no -- common sense was missing yet again, when two days later I received another text. "I'm bored :/" Alright then... why not try this conversation thing one more time. I prompted him with several questions. What are you up to tonight? Do you have work tomorrow? I'm bored too, I've been sick in bed most of the night and I worked all day. Normally, someone might ask you, in return, questions to allow you to elaborate. Maybe an "Oh, you're sick? What's wrong with you?" Or even another question. But no. Nothing. Just simple, tersely worded responses.

I'm left thinking.... is this guy even entertained by this conversation? It certainly doesn't seem that way. I'm a little offended by his awful conversational abilities. I am reluctant to give up, but you know what... it is pointless to put off the inevitable. So, I resign to stop texting. And then, he sends another "Boreedddd :/" Really? Really? Alright, I'll give it one more shot. So I tell him, "Me too! But I've asked you all the questions I can think of. Your turn :)"

I'm sure you can imagine his reply. "Noo waahh dammit." That's the last straw. If he isn't willing to cure is own boredom, I can't even image the other issues this guy might have. So I'm done. I get another text ten minutes later, "I'm hungery." Exactly like that. Interesting. I am not completely innocent in all of this, I suppose -- I have my moments where I'm dumb, I say something stupid and unimportant, I have a less than witty reply. But I think the A+ in failure is not on my report  card this time around. Lucky me.

Here's to better luck next time! The moral of the story: see the signs, read the signs, heed the signs. If he seems like a dud, he just might be!